Sunday, June 14, 2009

Star Trek

Star Trek is big. Big spectacle, big sound, big cast, big budget.

And it doesn't make a damn bit o' sense.

Let's say- for instance- that a character renowned for his logic makes an emotional, illogical, and almost certainly illegal decision and sends another crew member down to a zombie glacial planet, where he will (of course) meet Simon Pegg. Only the zombies, this time, will not be the Shaun of the Dead traditional zombies, but Resident Evil abominations. And, um, let's further say that a meganormous wolf-baboon is hard on the heels of this crewman- but a mutant blend of spider, dragon, and venus fly-trap kills the wolf-baboon. But instead of eating the larger baboon, which it has already killed, it instead chases the much smaller crewman.

Let's also say there exists a substance which will create black holes. A minute amount- a drop- of this substance is all that is required. Instead of taking this substance in a pre-packaged, ready to use platform, this super-advanced civilization instead takes an enormous amount of this substance on ship, necessitating an overly-complicated, long preparation process that seems more at home in the early 20th century. Let's say that all bad guys are handily identified with villain-y tattoos, and that any evil ships look like they're made of rusty razors and bad attitude. Let's say that anyone involved in a fight will automatically get into a fight utilizing their strengths, no matter how unlikely those skills are...well, you get the point.

2.5/5 stars.


Snigglefrits said...

THANK YOU! Finally someone who wasn't mesmerized by this movie.

It strikes me more as a Sci-Fi Soap Opera than a Sci-Fi movie.

I only give it a 2.

J.R.Shirley said...

Well, I did enjoy it. While understanding it made no sense whatsoever...which is a bit offensive.

Assrot said...

I'm a Star Trek Kool-Aid drinker. I've watched everything they have ever done since the pilot back in 1966. I can probably tell you what every actor is going to say for every episode and every movie. Hell, I've seen the reruns and Star Trek Marathons so many times that I can tell you the name of the movie or episode from the first line.

I haven't seen this movie yet but I'm sure I'll like it.

I think some folks tend to over analyze. This is Science Fiction after all.

It is supposed to be enjoyable fantasy not to be taken seriously. I mean really, when have we ever seen anything that made sense on the big screen or TV?


The Lily said...

Ehhhh. I think perhaps you expect too much.

We're talking about Hollywood, and while I would LIKE to take things issuing from that gaping reality abyss with some amount of seriousness I find it just increases my chance of aneurysm.

Want sense? Do Cannes. This? This is unmitigated fluff. Big budget and pretty lights flashing, but fluff nonetheless. Your best approach is that of suspension of disbelief.

More fun, less aneurysm.

J.R.Shirley said...

I don't expect realism, but the things that reasonably CAN be made realistic, SHOULD be. For instance, there was no reason to carry 10,000x as much "red matter" as *necessary*. There is no good reason, logically, that the villains are the only ones in a spaceship that looks like a it wants to cut you- despite being a "mining vessel". As I pointed out, there is no reason or logic to a predator discarding larger subdued prey to follow smaller, active prey...