Monday, November 17, 2008

The Perversion of Feminism

There is a problem with many "feminists" in the United States today. Feminism has been co-opted and perverted by something it's not. There is a strong streak of misandry that has resulted in authentic feminism being discounted by popular culture. Feminism is the movement to eliminate sex-based discrimination. That's it.

There is a double standard I have seen in many women, even some women with whom I have been close. It is totally unacceptable for any man to deride all women as stupid, sluts, gold-diggers or bitches, and I absolutely refuse to do it, because it's untrue and unfair. I have often witnessed women refer to all men as assholes or dogs. This is hypocrisy. Equal is equal and fair is fair. It is wrong to demand fair treatment and then behave as a sexist. These man-haters are the ones who give authentic feminists the bad image.

Years ago, someone I know who unfortunately is a misandrist (though she often has backed up and said "except you" after unleashing an insult towards all men) saw singer Nellie McKay on a TV show, and found her delightful. Here are some of McKay's lyrics from "It's a Pose":

Fellas can't you see I'm pissed
Tryin' to enjoy my readin'
But you insist on interpretin' text
Oh go on @#$! off I'm pleadin'
Every sentence is a pretext for sex sex sex sex
God you went to Oxford
Head still in your boxers
But you're male so what should I expect?
"what the hell do you mean?"
Well for instance
You've committed every rape
"and what else?"
I won't heed your insistence
Mr. copulatin' populatin' masturbatin' denigratin'
Birth of a Nation instigatin' violator of my escape
But hey hey hey, that ain't nothin' to do with you
You're a sensitive Joe, I'm forgettin'
But every woman knows
It's a pose, just a pose

If any of you need help interpreting this, it says that all men are rapists with nothing but sex on their minds. A feminist didn't write this, a disturbed sexist maniac did, and if you think this song is great, you have a serious "reality challenge". Such hypocrisy sickens me. I wrote this in reply:

"The Protest Song" John R. Shirley 22 December 2004

Pretend you're victimized; I'll pretend I'm pissed
That you actually could believe or pretend to buy the bullshit
That gets fed, spoon fed, shoved in your head
Every god damned way
You can imagine tons of difficulties to clog your hard-fought day
And your fight for suffrage will be here to stay
So you'll never be an equal: you'll always be a slave
You'll fight for your rights, long days and empty nights
Until you're cold in your grave

And I'll never be a hero. Hell, I'm just a man
I have no class, my touch is hard, and I kill puppies for fun
But I can do the bleeding even though you swear it's not for you
I'll catch the bullets and till the soil
And cry tears over my children that no-one will ever
Because I'm just a man

You know, I AM "just a man". Mostly good, with my own flaws, but I'm okay with that. I don't hate myself because of the color of my skin or my biological makeup. I came programmed to look as I do, and I as a human largely get to choose how I will behave. This is true for all people of every sex (there are more than two), color, religion, and group. End the hypocrisy. Embrace genuine feminism, or as it could be even better described (to embrace combatting other prejudicial ideas) equalism.


charlotte g said...

As usual, you are excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
I was the third woman to be hired for the city room on the Fort Worth Star Telegram. Dallas Morning News had no women at all, except in "society" pages. When I was hired, women were offered $75 a week, men $85 for the same job. I started at $90. I was the first woman reporter to be allowed to take maternity leave and return to my job. Previously, women had to quit. There were, of course, no benefits to cover the doctor and hospital. Fortunately, I married a feminist. If our son was sick, we usually took turns taking off to stay with him. I am amazed by the young women today who assume all the child care is theirs,even if they have the higher income. That teaches the children something I don't want to perpetuate. Dads are awfully important and nurturing. It was many years before I realized how strange it seemed to others when Matt G.'s dad took off work to care for his son when he was sick.

J.R.Shirley said...

I'm glad. This is a sore issue for me. There should be no double standard.

phlegmfatale said...

I agree with you.

In a world where Miss McKay is free to write such drivel (however misbegot) and thrive on its proceeds, it's a bit hollow to say she's a victim of sexism, honestly.

She's free to choose otherwise, but lots of us enjoy the frisson between the sexes. All sex is not rape. Sounds like she's been smoking the 70s feminist pipe. How dull and how limiting.

Jenny said...

Amen feller.

I especially feel sorry for the guys who caught the short end of the stick just trying to be courteous, opening doors and such just as their fathers taught them to do.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I can go to work or pursue hobbies other than baking and embroidery without getting talked down to all the time. Nonetheless, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think we lost something kinda sweet when we ditched the back-and-forth game of chivalry. It's fun.

More to the point though... the amount of sheer sacrifice a good man makes so readily, just as a matter of course is plain mind-boggling. Guys at their best are incredible.

Guess it's all in the men you're graced to know. :)