Thursday, November 15, 2007

I Go to Hell

er, Atlanta.

So, despite having lots of stuff to do, I went to Atlanta Tuesday. With Jordy. To see Ani DiFranco.

Now, I like women. I like assertive women. I like assertive women with guitars. I like women who can stand on their own two feet. But...I don't like Ani DiFranco.

I waited with the crowd for DiFranco to appear. I was one of a relative few guys in the primarily bi/les crowd. First out was a spoken word guy who was actually pretty good, until he made light of thousands of American deaths on 9-11 (described in a poem about "My Town" as 'some brown guys came to town...OOGLY-BOOGLY!').

I'm fine with gay folks, people of every color of the rainbow, people who want to believe different things, or dress differently than me, people who choose to eat other stuff, you name it...but the deaths of thousands of my countrymen are no cause to fuckin' joke, bud.

Ani finally came on stage. Despite her annoying voice and that I have never found her lyrics poetic, I soldiered through until she chose to insult me, my political beliefs, and my rights:

the sun is settin on the century
and we are armed to the teeth
we are all working together now
to make our lives mercifully brief
schoolkids keep trying to teach us
what guns are all about
confuse liberty with weaponry my humble opinion
here's what i suggest we do:

open fire on hollywood
open fire on MTV
open fire on NBC
and CBS and ABC
open fire on the NRA
and all the lies they told us
along the way
open fire on each weapons manufacturer
while he's giving head
to some republician senator

Mm, okay. Transference much? I mean, Ms. DiFranco, I get that you're so. Very. Angrrrrrrry. I suggest you find healthy ways to handle the aggressive tendencies you're transferring onto others. Only once you've found a way to be healthy yourself can you really help anyone else.

Anyway, after she got to the part about
if i hear one more time
about fool's rights
to his tools of rage
I'm gonna take all my friends
and i'm gonna move to canada
and we're gonna die of old age

Go! I yelled at the stage to encourage her, before I walked out. But you know it won't happen. I guess it's easy to try to combat nuclear power and individual weapons when you have no clue what you're talking about. Humans receive many times the radiation doses from coal power plants than from nukes. Hell, fish are being poisoned by mercury from coal ash. As older nuclear plants are closed down, and energy demands increase, still more coal power plants will be opened- and even more of our planet will be poisoned. But well-intentioned and empty-headed fools have nothing better to do with their time than protest opening new nuclear sites, instead of protesting inadequate safeguards and standards at coal plants. Dolts.

As I rushed back to Augusta to prepare for the presentation due that night, I mentioned to Jordy that I really wished all the U.S. celebrities that threatened to move to Canada a few years ago, would go. (She doesn't like having these conversations with me.) It's great when people have the courage of their convictions, but I hate people who are all talk.

It's not that I'm a Republican; I'm not. I think the Democrats want to take our firearms and financial freedoms, and the Republicans want to take our moral freedoms. Jordy somehow needs to be more upset at the Republicans, but as I tell her, it's easier to fight when you have guns and money. When you're broke and unarmed, anything can be taken from you.


HollyB said...

WOW! I knew she was one of a batch of angry girl singers back in the days when my daughter was a teen. I just haven't listened to her in a long time and didn't know she had gone out to the loony left fringe.
I'm not sure Canada is far enough..maybe she should go to France...With Alec Baldwin. Please.

Don said...

Ani DifarkingFranco? What does anybody expect from Ani DiFranco?

phlegmfatale said...

I agree. I'd happily sponsor some one way tickets to the outer reaches for some of those folks. It's disappointing that so many in the "artistic" community are monolithic in their ideals and incapable of true, original thought.

Matt G said...

Preach on, brother.

I've enjoyed some of Ani DeFranco's angry guitar-strumming music in the past. "31 Flavors" (which is probably the song that brought in so many gay/bi people) is a pretty interesting song.

But really? What she knows about is making angry music. And not much else.

The stupidity of her transference is pretty impressive.

(I wonder what the Canadians would think of us, if all the people who talked about moving there actually did so?)

Habbs said...

I kinda like Ani DiFranco.

Otherwise, you're pretty much on target.

Mark said...

Given the turn France has taken, I'm not sure they would take her these days.

Perhaps she should try her act in Iran.

Less said...

Honestly, I guess that's what I love about this country so much: A moonbat can go out, make a fool of themselves, accomplish nothing, insult most people, and walk off stage unhurt...

Personally, I wouldn't have gone. What I can say is that I'm happy you went since I enjoyed a hearty ROTFLMAO moment.

SpeakerTweaker said...

Oh, that's hysterical.

I can but wish that she had the cojones to bark that one out with you. You could have easily told her that you fit the "tools of rage" crowd, then she could have moved.

See? Stress relief AND public service.

I'm here to help.



J.R.Shirley said...

She also said something about "instruments of rage" during that song, too. I leaned close to Jordy and snorted,
Like her guitar?
Jordy either didn't hear, or ignored me.

Habbs said...

I'll go to my deathbed liking Ani's music, but she's off track here. It bugs me, because she's really talented.

Evidently she hasn't thought this out. A world without weapons would mean the strong dominate the weak and the gang dominates an individual.

Not so blissful when I lay it out like that, is it?