Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Idiots, Dolts, and other Fools

At my cushy job that is so top secret I am not allowed to mention it in publication without prior approval, there are two elevators in the main area. One elevator only travels down to the parking deck and up to the main first floor, while the other elevator rises from the first floor to the second floor, for those with challenges, or who are just too damn lazy to walk over to the escalator. Customers frequently become confused, and attempt to ride the parking elevator to the second floor, or take the second-floor elevator down. We floor staff must then helpfully assist them.

Just yesterday, two grown women and several children were in the second-story elevator, as it sat on the first floor.
"Are you trying to go to the second floor?" I politely asked.
"No, we want to go to the parking deck," the heavy-set, rather bulldog-looking woman replied.
"You need the other elevator for that, ma'am."
(Huffily)"Well, it's not like it says that anywhere."
Blink. No, actually, there is a 5x11" sign posted with clear instructions in each elevator, with letters half an inch high. It's just above the buttons you've been uselessly pressing.
Like Santa Claus, idiots are everywhere.

1 comment:

HollyB said...

Ah, the times you wish you COULD put a hand on the back of her neck and direct her face to the sign.
Or say, "Oh, I'm sorry, Ma'am. I didn't realize you were vision impaired since you didn't have a guide dog with you. I thought you could see the 5x11 sign there on the wall." Of course your voice would have to be dripping with sincerity when you say this. [eg]